Got anger?

This morning I woke to the ongoing saga (only since last night I might add) of why my Samsung phone and my Outlook (on PC) could no longer access my iCloud emails.

I have tried everything!

First world problems I know! But at the time, it felt like the world was crumbling and it was the biggest issue on the planet. I could feel my blood pressure rising, I was anxious about it and I had even given myself a headache! Like wah??!

Note: For the record, changing over to Samsung from the dreamy land of iPhone was one of the few regrets I have in life and for at least a thousand reasons – I don’t recommend it.

I digress, back to the anger.

I tried so hard to be nice to the good people at Apple by saying things like “I understand this isn’t your fault but I really need this fixed”, and while they were really very helpful, it is still going to be 3 days before I can access my iCloud emails again on my phone or Outlook on PC…

<insert internal screaming… DON’T THEY KNOW I’M TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS FROM MY PHONE?!  DON’T THEY KNOW I MUST BE CONSTANTLY PLUGGED IN TO EVERY SINGLE FACET OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD AT ALL TIMES??!!!! GAAAHHH!!!!!>

Well… at the time I needed those things. Now I’ve just clary calm-ed the fuck down and taken a few deep breaths, had a good look around, cuddled my cat and everything seems to be okay. I’ve even come up with a plan on how to manage without constant access to my emails for 3 days. What’s the big deal?

Now why the hell couldn’t I have done that at the time??

The anger I felt served absolutely no purpose. It didn’t get me anywhere, I didn’t feel good about myself, everything just snowballed and it seemed like a day ruined. This does not serve me in ANY WAY.

The truth is, I used to be a LOT more angry than I am these days. About 18 months ago I used to be angry about everything in the world. I mean everything. Traffic, people, phones, computers, people, coffee machines, televisions, people, washing machines, outdoor laundry’s, mud, clothes, rain, sun, people, dogs, flowers, weeds, prickles and did I mention people? Maybe I should have lived in a hermit hut.

Thank goodness I’ve come a REALLY long way since then and this morning was the first time in about 18 months that I could feel the internal rage creeping up again inside me.

This got me thinking… what I had been doing differently in the past 18 months to keep the angry little girl at bay??

And I’ve just come to the realisation of what that was…

MEDITATION… I’ve stopped meditating.

With all of the moving, business, study and new job hustle and bustle of the last few months I’ve really neglected my meditation practice. And while I’ve kept up my Yoga practice, it just doesn’t work my mind as much as it does my body.

When I’m meditating regularly, things just seem to flow better in my life, things seem less of a hassle, I make clearer and more effective decisions, I love people and I don’t get upset by the little things. I don’t even meditate on anger, well it’s not like I’m meditating for anger issues. I just sit with myself, quiet my thoughts and look around inside my brain without judgement, outside influence, negativity (or even positivity for that matter) and see what I find. And normally all I find is…

Peace.

Nothing else. Just peace.

It’s easy to forget what peace feels like and it can be hard to come by while we’re weaving through all the to-do lists, schedules, and appointments. We’re focusing on cooking dinner, dropping the kids at school, hauling ourselves to work, washing clothes, grocery shopping, mopping floors, feeding cats, mowing the lawn, doing homework, toilet training, remembering which day is green bin day and which is yellow. It can be a toxic, stressful environment and sometimes we get so caught up in all of this that we forget that magical, peaceful feeling. And that’s what has happened to me.

So the challenge is on! I’m heading to my happy place again on the daily and setting myself a new 30 day challenge. I use the Insight Timer app on my phone so it will track my progress and I’ll report back on the results with a screenshot or two.

If you’ve got any other ideas or tips on keeping your cool, please let me know in the comments below – I’d love to hear from you and promise a personal reply.

Love and hugs (and most importantly PEACE),

Asti Mary xx

 

 

 

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