The late Wayne W Dyer once or twice said “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.”
I have been lonely many times. One of those times, I was living in a new city where I hadn’t yet found employment and I had very few friends nearby. My boyfriend at the time was working on the other side of the country on a fly in/fly out basis and was home for 1 week out of every 4 and two days of that week were eaten up by travel time. It was a lonely time and it took its toll on me and turned me into a monster, which took its toll on our relationship.
It was around this sad time that a very kind lady loaned me a particular book called “You’re Not Alone: A Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Feelings of Isolation” by Xandria Williams. The book looked quite old or maybe just well loved, smelled like a dusty old bookshop (I secretly love that smell) and once I opened it I couldn’t put it down. It was like the book was speaking to me, as if Xandria had taken the time to write this book just for me.
Not only did this wonderful book teach me that none of us are really ever alone but it made me think about who I was as a person. What were the things I enjoyed doing? Do I have a passion? What do I do for fun? How did I see the world? What were my views, my thoughts? How did I describe the world and my reason for being here? Why do I think this way? How can I change this?
The most important thing this book gave me, was a craving for more personal development. I have always been interested in the subject but from the point of view of making money (Rich Dad, Poor Dad type stuff), but now I was interested in PD from the viewpoint of making happiness. I’ve been delving deep into all the books, audiobooks, podcasts and blogs I can get my hands on, sifting through the teachers I do and don’t resonate with and everything I find leads me to something else I need to hear at that moment.
In some ways, that little book has been a catalyst that has opened doors, helped me to take a step back from being in the world, to sit with my thoughts and see my life as if I was way up in the clouds on a magic carpet looking down on myself. And it doesn’t matter whether I like what I see or not, I am empowered to make the changes I need to create the life I do like when I look down from that magical place.
Day by day, the little adjustments I make are changing my life and creating my happiness and I’m no longer lonely because I like the person I am alone with.
If you’re interested in reading the book you can get it here. I am in no way affiliated with the author, I just love her book.